rest in peace incredible aunt mary
most of the time in my life when something that saddens most or the people i love are upset i have stayed strong and hid my inner feelings but recently when my great aunt mary past away in her sleep at the age of 89 i couldnt help myself but to run to my room and burst into tears. it was so hard not to sob along with my family and hardest of all my mother. my grandma was never really around when my mom was a child and my aunt mary was like her second mother, raised her practically. therefore, my mom being over-ly emotional in general, was hysterical for almost a month. it hadnt hit me that she was gone until this month, after it almost being five months, im not sure what to feel. im the only one that hasnt been in, better yet seen my aunts house since her death and the mention of it and the sight of her belongings in my home gives me the hardest feeling i have ever experienced, unfortunately this happens almost everywhere i look in my house now. weirdly enough as this is all happening i had a dream about a week ago where basically i had gone to her house, with one person, without my parents knowing and went into a state of mind i didnt even know existed. thinking i was crying in my sleep, i know that when the time comes when my mom and her sister go to sell her house i will need to go inside. the strength it will take inside of me though, i just dont know.
this was cute, in a sad way. :) :\
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