wishing it was just a dreamm..

rest in peace incredible aunt mary

most of the time in my life when something that saddens most or the people i love are upset i have stayed strong and hid my inner feelings but recently when my great aunt mary past away in her sleep at the age of 89 i couldnt help myself but to run to my room and burst into tears. it was so hard not to sob along with my family and hardest of all my mother. my grandma was never really around when my mom was a child and my aunt mary was like her second mother, raised her practically. therefore, my mom being over-ly emotional in general, was hysterical for almost a month. it hadnt hit me that she was gone until this month, after it almost being five months, im not sure what to feel. im the only one that hasnt been in, better yet seen my aunts house since her death and the mention of it and the sight of her belongings in my home gives me the hardest feeling i have ever experienced, unfortunately this happens almost everywhere i look in my house now. weirdly enough as this is all happening i had a dream about a week ago where basically i had gone to her house, with one person, without my parents knowing and went into a state of mind i didnt even know existed. thinking i was crying in my sleep, i know that when the time comes when my mom and her sister go to sell her house i will need to go inside. the strength it will take inside of me though, i just dont know.

last time i checked this wasnt china town..

UMMM BYTHEWAY, so yesterday i got some new bling a la tiffany&co but this gorg. ring has begun to turn my finger green! last time i checkeddddd, real sterling never did such a thing... ill have to get this fixxed cause its making me nervous!! heres a picture of the cutie for ya'll to seee :)
xoxoBL

you know it takes my breathe awayyy...

the beach in the winter, dancing in the rain, kisses during fights
it always wins..
honestly i just may be one of the very few that arent very fond of their birthday, christmas, or thanksgiving but this baby school vacation couldnt come any sooner. in the past the messier my room, the better my life was going. ( other than my parents nagging) but this year all has come down and the floor is visable. basically LIFE OFFICIALLY SUCKS while trying to memorize numerous cases for USH class, which is nothing compared to the torturous readings and other assignments in ap, memorizing this "OH SO AMAZING" french poem CHANSON D'AUTOMNE (what a fav. right?!) totally kiddinggg... basically while life is slowly coming to an end, pamela is having a cow because grandmother is coming to town. For the first time since i can remember she will be at the table for thanksgiving, SHOCKER! not that any of you care, but anywhooooo-
pooor PMW is having such a hard weeeekiez and its only monday :( although all this shinannz starded friday.. it will get better. MISS.BLOCKISLAND over there in ghtetotoo ville made me want to take the car and drive to block island finally to visualize all of the amazing parties and smiliing faces i hear about every time pamela sees the peachy colored block island tank.
well neeeded much to rant, thanks young world.
xoxoBL

arch my eyebrows high

chongaliciousssss

today i talked to sirAP, hes not gettttting anything outtta this 516.
oh dear kitty, zoe, you really need to move off of this bed soon. its not like my room screams north shore animal league GAWSHHHHHhopethatsnotharsh. <3


OH I NEVER THOUGHT ID SAY THIS ... i misss being a tan man :(
i believe ill be arriving back at my new summer home in about a month, but it wont be the same. this past summer was just to amazing. room 301? funniestpossibleroom.
let me just tell you, i even learned how to spell cat.
-C. A. T. (incase you were wondering)

well goodnight for now
xoxoBL

its not our fault we're so popular

we should have our own t.v. show...

OH SIR.PRECIOUS ...
mm holllla coach mac, so weird tennis 09 is over. the fact that the year 09 is ending and I wont be able to say "09" at the end of every sentence. OH BOOO
so here are my shoes...
report cards cant come out soon, or ill die. because the day they do my life ends.... :(
NEWMOONPREMIER .2DAYS? pamela better let me go.. :D

WHY YES BARBARA, I DO..

xoxoBL---or should i say xoxomayohater. ?

well maybe its not just a rugby!

sorrryy biaaaa, enjoy your coffeee miss.

it had to be twinnnn day because almost at least every period i saw some girl wearing this shirt today,, good thing first thing i do when i had off second period was go home and change into this shirt. COOLBEANZ!
ohh well, i love it :)
although the tennis season has been over for almost a month now our ever so amazing team is having a dinnadinna tonight! obviously exciteddddddd. hahah sorry bestfriendkristina for her INSANELY awkward situation today. ooooph!
im tempted to go to the gym, but ofcourse this dinner starting at 6:30/7 only permitting an hour at the gym making time with shower&fancy preperation tight. OHWELLLL, pamela doesnt want me to go to the gym even though she said it was FINE that just means that its not.
OH LOOKY HERE... another email from a website that i have never heard of, but had to sometime in my life because im subscribed and cannot figure out how to make the daily "cutesy girl" emails go away. even though i know cutesy girl imperticular was from that time i attempted to buy kristina sunglasses just so the rants would stop. WELL she didnt get sunglasses, i just get emails. fabulous, isnt it?! :D
xoxoBL

quick switch

hope you all like the new changes! i feel the black comes with the change into winter :D
xoxBL

obsessions come and go..

when did you get so funny?!

hahahah
OH HELLOO THERE, well miss AVG my love has requested to keep blogging, especially because she is most likely the only person who reads this bear blog. xoxo
well i have some new obsessions, and once i find one i seem to never be able to let go, dont worry now - its not a vanilla cup cake, its the ever so amazing ginormous rings! woah--im sure this is a shocker. but for about a year now obnoxious rings have been a fashion statement one is dared to make ;)
the ever so famous house of harlow ring is always adorable, i have yet to purchase( probably never will) and then the gorgeous nOir brooklyn bridge two finger ring<3

the light of day..

WELL EM, looks like your not going out for a few months...

the words miss.pamela, my mother, spoke to me when i arrived home from school today. good thing this is because of my HORRIFYING grades first quarter. i deffinitely have learned my lessson, i can not believe i did so poorly. its disgustingggg! ANYWAY, on a better note- miss.wyss, neighbor and bear friend, got a chance to show the bear mobile to the schools up on campus drive. oh what a fun little car... i mean what other than a 92' tempo would you want to be rolling through dairy barn in ?! i dont think anything competes.
xoxoBL